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🇫🇷 Les pages peuvent maintenant être dans n'importe quelle langue. Utilisez simplement l'outil de traduction de votre téléphone ou de votre ordinateur pour traduire cette page dans la langue de votre choix.
🇪🇸 Las páginas ahora pueden estar en cualquier idioma. Simplemente use la herramienta de traducción en su teléfono o computadora para traducir esta página a su idioma preferido.
Be whatever you want to be, just be really good at it.
Almost everything will work out again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.
One Of Many Excellent Comments on
Wow! I’ve had hundreds of massages, but this was by far the best. I was super relaxed during and after my massage for the rest of the day. My boyfriend in fact noticed immediately what a great mood I was in and said, “you should do that more often”. From the moment I met Albhertu he made me feel comfortable and relaxed. He is just a super friendly person you want to be friends with. The massage was just unbelievable and I think I actually fell asleep for awhile.I could get addicted to this type of massage very easily and in fact plan to have one every couple of weeks with Albhertu for the next couple of months while I’m here in Lisbon. I can’t say enough good things about my experience with Oblong massage. Everyone guy should give a try.
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EverydayWeekday slots start at:
8:00 pmWeekend slots start at:
8:00 pm* * * * *I only accept 3-4 bookings a day, so please book ahead if you can.
I am about quality and not quantity.If the time slot you want does not show up in the booking platform then it simply means it is not available.Cash payments only. Local guys can use the Portuguese MB Way payment app.
I do not accept reservations over the phone.
You must book online.No exceptions.* * * * *
If you have any pertinent questions please feel free to Whatsapp me.
PS: Asking me if I do "happy endings" is not a pertinent question". I do not.* * * * *
I have a weight limit of 100kg / 220lb / 14 stone per person;
heavier bodies will not permit me to perform this massage since I cannot lift your body from underneath. Thank-you for understanding.* * * * *
If you are a travel agency please do not book on behalf of your client - he should book himself, check all the boxes himself, and get all the information himself. Thank-you.
Cancel anytime. No questions asked.If you are going to be late please inform Alberto via Whatsapp.
Oblong Massage is a gift you give yourself.
The way you make people feel says a lot about you.
I only do my own massage protocol which I call Oblong Massage.
I do not perform other massage styles.
I stick to what I do best.
You will get the minimum 1 hour and 20 minutes of the very fluid and non-stop Oblong Massage, specifically designed for the naked male body.
Oblong Massage is not compatible with "deep tissue" massage. You are not getting a "deep tissue" massage.* * * * *For your comfort the massage oil and the massage table are heated during the colder months.* * * * *
Default oil used is almond oil.
When booking you can:
- Upgrade to anti-inflammatory arnica oil.
- Add an extra 10 minutes more of Oblong Massage.
- Add an extra 10 minutes of Silicone Cupping to your Oblong Massage.
- Add an extra 10 minutes of dedicated neck massage to your Oblong Massage.
🍹 Chill Sunset (covers)
🇵🇹 Portuguesa, Fado
🇧🇷 Brasil, Bossa Nova
🇪🇸 Española, Caliente
🇬🇧 English, Ballads
🇬🇧 Above & Beyond 8live acoustic)
🎹 Easy Classical
🎻 Opera Classics
Oblong Massage glides throughout the naked body, transitioning and morphing into many different movements and styles with both the hands and the forearms, providing a sense of sway and lull that may rock you to sleep. I am constantly working on your muscles but in a way that you do not notice.* * * * *And guys, if it feels good,
don´t hold back.
It´s perfectly OK to:
to name a few.
I will always tweak the actual massage according to the minutes of the massage and your body type.
Oblong Massage is in a category called leisure-massage; there are no questionnaires to fill out, no medical questions required, no diagnosis taken, no tests performed, and no specific treatment is applied.There is absolutely nothing about Oblong Massage that can hurt you.
Oblong Massage is a full-body holistic approach to massage and aims to de-activate your mind by stimulating the para-sympathetic nervous system, allowing your body to calm down and self-regulate.
Oblong Massage is a gift you give yourself.
Bruno Mars thinks I am amazing just the way I am.
In a world full of Kardashians be you.
Yes, Oblong Massage as I have created it is only for naked guys.
For many years I did cater to the whole public, both males and females, but in December 2020 I changed the massage protocol quite a bit to suit guys only - it means I stopped using towels on the massage table, under or above the body, so guys can be naked, allowing me to be free with imaginative and complex movements thud creating an even more sensual and functional massage protocol that allows me to travel the body in all directions, including from underneath.
Guys like being naked, so it is just easier, and consequently just more fun to perform.* * * * *If you are looking for a completely different massage experience from what you´ve had before, the best way to enjoy Oblong Massage is to put any preconceived ideas of what a massage should be aside, let go of all assumptions, take a deep breath, keep a silent mind, and embrace a new and modern massage experience.* * * * *It´s perfectly OK to feel absolutely free during the massage; you will not be "insulting" me by getting an erection.
English and Portuguese speaker trying to learn SpanishI have been doing this massage approach/style since 2015.
I´m creative, consistente, reliable, extremely professional, and with a no-nonsense attitude about what a good massage should be about, so if I say I know how to perform a truly comprehensive and dynamic massage protocol then you just have to accept my word and try it.
Oh, and guys, be advised, I have no intention of aligning you with the universe, balance your chakras, or transfer my energy, none of that - I need my energy to work on you up to two hours non-stop. You will not find any of that magical language here, I do not promise any special healing, but I will promise you´ll get a truly professional guy-to-guy full-body massage experience.
In case you were wondering, yes, I am gay.
Can couples / friends book together?
Oh yes, please.
When booking just add two back-to-back sessions, and you can arrive together. Then choose who goes first while the other guy waits comfortably his turn on the sofa.
Yes, you get to watch it all.
Masseurs have feelings too. Make the choice to be nice.
Pay attention to who you´re with when you feel your best.
Why the weight limit?The answer is two-fold:
- Oblong Massage has built into it the lifting of the body from underneath and there is a limit to how much Alberto can lift. It´s as simple as that.
- Alberto has to perform this massage everyday, several times a day, reason enough for him to have to pace himself - he must be able to perform the last massage of the day with the same energy and vigor as the first without being worn out.
Many things in life have limits that must be observed, and although Alberto understands that you may want the full Oblong Massage experience, he must consider his well-being and physical capacity first.
I specialize and dedicate myself to my own approach to massage.I am focused on the best massage experience you can find, anywhere. And I want to continue to be recognized for that. Anything that distracts me from this objective only takes away from the quality that my customers and I demand.
So no, I do not do skin treatments, facial massage, body waxing, penis trimming, lymphatic drainage, body shaping massage (whatever that is), or tantric massage.
I stick to what I do best.
Is Oblong Massage "therapeutic"?
Well, yes and no. It all depends on what you understand therapeutic to be.
If you have a diagnosable problem / issue you should consult a doctor - no massage "therapist" anywhere is licensed to diagnose any illness or pathology.
On the other hand, if you find that a quiet walk in the forest or on the beach is therapeutic, if listening to a baby laugh comforts and soothes you, if you consider eating well and keeping active good and worthwhile goals to pursue, then yes, in this sense Oblong Massage is abundantly therapeutic.
Falua Massage Academy
Former owner, operator, mentor, and teacher at Falua Massage Academy in Porto, Portugal.
Falua Massage Academy closed during the covid lockdown and I have no current plans of re-opening it. I currently lack the will-power to re-start it all. Maybe sometime in the future if the inspiration to teach strikes again. In the mean time I am perfectly happy catering exclusively to the male public having tweaked this special massage protocol to perfectly fit the naked male body.
You glow differently when you are actually happy.
If you´re reading this I hope a good massage happens to you today.
What Happy Guys Say
"I have the simplest taste;
I am always satisfied with the best."
Sometimes you just instinctively know when you're in safe and professional hands. Albhertu gives that vibe in abundance. The massage technique is amazing, I can't really explain it in words...you just have to try it is all I can say. Albhertu will frequently check you're comfortable and enjoying it.This guy's philosophy is "live for the moment" and he'll help you do just that. Highly recommended. *****The choice of music is a nice touch, but if you wait a bit you might hear that he can sing too!
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Recebido num ambiente já preparado para me acolher, em segurança e cheio de boa energia.O preconceito fica à porta, mas o respeito, educação e cuidados não se esquecem em nenhum momento. E é desta forma que, descontraidamente, se gera a confiança necessária para nos deixarmos levar na viagem que o Alberthu nos propõem. Embalados numa suave e doce melodia, rapidamente o corpo se entrega a esta abordagem e uso da técnica de forma nunca antes sentida, enquanto a mente desliga e em poucos minutos se esquecem os problemas e correria do dia a dia. A sensação de leveza, tranquilidade e relaxamento voltam contigo a casa e tens a certeza que a viagem foi boa quando percebes que queres voltar a embarcar na Falua, com o Alberthu no leme.Sem dor também se alcançam resultados.Relax and enjoy the ride.
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It is very difficult to describe the Faula massage experience with the limited set of words of the English dictionary… splendid, fabulous, extraordinary… Ahhh neither of them can properly explain the special journey with Albhertu. Just try it and let your body fly! Hooked up for ever! See you soon for sure! Muito obrigado/ Szívből köszönöm!
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Espaço acolhedor, intimista e obviamente limpo, deixando-nos seguros com a preocupação da higiene ao mais alto nível. O serviço ( para mim tratamento) é sempre do mais profissional onde somos tratados de forma respeitosa pelas mãos do super profissional Albhertu. Fã incondicional deste ser humano que me revigora a cada vez que passo pela sua experiência profissional na massagem OBLONG. Obrigado mil vezes.
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Oblong´s Lisbon Gay Guide
Just around the corner from Oblong you may dine in Noobai or Madame Petisca and take in the rooftop view from any of these two fine restaurants serving international cuisine.